Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Rules for Fencing Parents

When she was 12 and first competing, my younger daughter gave me a set of rules for behavior at fencing tournaments. She was quite serious about them—and she still calls me out when she catches me in violation. (I still have a hard time with #11, though she's not nearly so adamant about that one as she used to be.)

The Rules:

1. Do not carry my fencing bag.

2. Do not move my gear unless I ask you to.

3. Do not dare help me get my gear on.

4. Do not talk to me while I am warming up.

5. Do keep a filled water bottle at hand at all times.

6. Do not keep track of my bouts.

7. Do not go to the bout committee to figure out how I’m doing, who I’m fencing next, or who my referee will be.

8. Don’t go wandering off with my water bottle.

9. Do get me food. (Hot dogs are unacceptable.)

10. Don’t be annoying.

11. Do not say anything corny, such as, "Just go out and have fun." I repeat, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING CORNY!!!

12. Remember that you are my money.

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